The things I've learned after having kids:
- Even if I start getting ready 2 hours before I have to leave the house. I still can't manage to get to my destination on time.
- Just because I've already had one kid, doesn't mean I know how to parent my second one perfectly. It's just a little easier.
- Don't wear the clothes you want to wear out of the house until right before you walk out the door. My outfit is doomed if I put it on early - my kids have an endless supply of spit-up and boogers.
- Once you find something your kid loves to eat. They don't like it anymore. It's so frustrating.
- My job as a mom NEVER ends. It's literally 24-7.
- When both of my kids take a nap at the same time. I want to run around the house screaming, "FREEEEDOM"! Just like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
- Poop in the tub is inevitable. When it's time to retrieve the floater, don't think about, just get it out. Otherwise you'll psych yourself out. Then disinfect like crazy!!!
- Don't give your kid ice cream before bed. If you do, they won't go to bed. They'll be up for hours.
- Make sure the door to the outside world is shut and locked. Otherwise, you might just be getting out of the shower to a missing kid. Only to find him/her playing outside in the dirt (after a bath).