What I've learned....

The things I've learned after having kids:

1. Even if I start getting ready 2 hours before I have to leave the house. I still can't manage to get to my destination on time.
2. Just because I've already had one kid, doesn't mean I know how to parent my second one perfectly. It's just a little easier.
3. Don't wear the clothes you want to wear out of the house until right before you walk out the door. My outfit is doomed if I put it on early - my kids have an endless supply of spit-up and boogers.
4. Once you find something your kid loves to eat. They don't like it anymore. It's so frustrating.
5. My job as a mom NEVER ends. It's literally 24-7.
6. When both of my kids take a nap at the same time. I want to run around the house screaming, "FREEEEDOM"! Just like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
7. Poop in the tub is inevitable. When it's time to retrieve the floater, don't think about, just get it out. Otherwise you'll psych yourself out. Then disinfect like crazy!!!
8. Don't give your kid ice cream before bed. If you do, they won't go to bed. They'll be up for hours.
9. Make sure the door to the outside world is shut and locked. Otherwise, you might just be getting out of the shower to a missing kid. Only to find him/her playing outside in the dirt (after a bath).